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Classes Whose Players Are Getting Into Critical Role

below are the "big 4" elfgame classes (wizard, fighter, thief, cleric), reimagined to be what if their players started watching a big dramatic live-play show right around the time they hit level 2

as with all of my class writing, this assumes slot-based inventory, max 4d6 HP, max 4 levels, and no multiclassing, and tries not to assume much else

WIZARD WHOSE PLAYER IS GETTING INTO CRITICAL ROLE

Start with: Degree from a school only wizards care about (10 year program); prescription for opium and vinegar (migraines); trilogy of inaccurate novels about wizards (1 slot each); 2 days' rations of biscuits and either tea or coffee.
Starting skill: Monstrology OR Metaphysics OR Mixology.

  1. Proof; Formula
  2. Derivatives; Powers
  3. Inference; Conjecture
  4. QED

PROOF: By reading a book you've not read before, accurately confirm or deny a rumor. By reading a book no one's read since before you were born, accurately confirm or deny a hypothesis. This doesn't have to make sense.

FORMULA: Catch a spell that's ongoing or being cast within a hundred feet of you. Take 1d4 damage and slam a book closed to hold the spell. This ends and/or counters the spell, and when you open the book again, it casts under your control. Only books that take up 1 or more slots are big enough to use this way, and other creatures can't release the spells from your books unless they themselves are wizards.

DERIVATIVES: Attempt to let a spell loose from a book while keeping enough of it to cast again. Make a saving throw. If you fail, choose whether the spell is kept but countered, or cast but lost.

POWERS: The void that lurks behind all reality beckons to you in your dreams. When you are at or below half your maximum HP, taking more damage forces you to fall into the void for 1d4 hours. Rest in the void is impossible.

INFERENCE: Catch breath attacks and ghosts in books as if they were spells. Ghosts behave as you command for one turn, before vanishing back to where you found them.

CONJECTURE: You can return from the void immediately by suffering a vision of disaster. It can range from deeply personal to world-ending. The disaster will strike in 1d6 weeks unless stopped.

Q.E.D.: Once ever, you can catch a disaster in a book as if it were a spell.

FIGHTER WHOSE PLAYER IS GETTING INTO CRITICAL ROLE

Start with: Loyalty card at the local blacksmith (Get a free +1 upgrade after 5 punches); big axe and small sword OR small axe and big sword; 3 days' rations of barely drinkable ale; mama's chili recipe (you can't read).
Starting skill: Wrangling OR Wrestling OR Romance.

  1. Extension of the Self; Grit
  2. Signature Move; I Fight For My Friends
  3. Take Destiny By the Horns
  4. Hero

EXTENSION OF THE SELF: The only penalty that applies to you when you're misusing a weapon is that you can fumble on a natural 1. This means it always deals normal damage and uses your normal to-hit bonus, even if you're shooting a morningstar from a longbow, or swinging a sword made for a giant. When you're using weapons correctly, you never fumble.

GRIT: You have a number of grit points equal to your level, which you can spend to regain 1d6 hit points each, any time you want. Refresh your grit points when you recover from a hangover.

SIGNATURE MOVE: You can declare that misusing a weapon in a specific way is your signature move. You can only have one signature move, but you can change it if you're defeated by someone you used it on. Your signature move deals double damage.

I FIGHT FOR MY FRIENDS: When you spend grit to heal, also heal someone else for 1d6 hit points if you roleplay it.

TAKE DESTINY BY THE HORNS: By putting your hand on a magic weapon, you can know its history and use at least one of its powers. You can spend grit to reroll a save you fail against a magic weapon you're wielding. A magic item that's not a weapon becomes a weapon while you're trying to kill someone with it, meaning you can look into a crystal ball and see visions but only as it's en route to somebody's skull.

HERO: Refresh 1 grit when you accept a true challenge, and 1 more when you complete it.

THIEF WHOSE PLAYER IS GETTING INTO CRITICAL ROLE

Start with: Dramatic cape or jacket; lockpicks (open any lock a noble without lands could afford, illegal); throwing knife (illegal due to bans on "ninja weapons"); 1 day's worth of expensive candies and deli meats (no resale value).
Starting skill: Ballads OR Boasts OR Bullying.

  1. Hidden; Stick 'Em
  2. Most Wanted
  3. Tax Evader; Criminal History
  4. Heart of Gold

HIDDEN: When you or something you own or carry would be noticed by another, you can describe how, actually, you're / it's hidden. You have as long as all your allies can hold their breath to describe it, and if the referee doesn't understand what you're describing then this fails.

STICK 'EM: When you stab someone with a knife they take 1d6 extra damage for each of the following that's true: 1. They have more valuables on their person than you do, 2. They have more employees than you do, 3. They have more hit points than you do. Anyone you point a knife at understands the way this works.

MOST WANTED: Your enemies always attack where they think you are instead of checking first or negotiating. This also works with Hidden.

TAX EVADER: You can always get at least 25% off the normal asking price of anything, anytime, anywhere. The most anyone can do about this is send people to shake you down.

CRIMINAL HISTORY: Earnestly describe part of your backstory to give someone a glimmer. Glimmers can be spent to reroll any die right before a result is accepted. A backstory part needs to include a character other than yourself, an action that you or the other character took, and the way it made you feel. If you still feel the same way today, you also get a glimmer -- and if the reason you don't can be attributed to a friend, they get one instead.

HEART OF GOLD: Add the following to your Stick Em Up criteria: 4. They threaten the whole realm. 5. They killed someone you loved. 6. They feature in your backstory. Additionally, legendary weapons count as knives when you wield them.

CLERIC WHOSE PLAYER IS GETTING INTO CRITICAL ROLE

Start with: Symbol only clerics wear (1 slot per sin on your conscience); weapon that exploits a loophole on your order's prohibition against violence; 3 days' worth of food donations from your home town.
Starting skill: Interpretation OR Inquisition OR Interior Decoration.

  1. Habit; Clasp
  2. Caller
  3. Veil; Cope
  4. Rationale; Change

HABIT: Refresh your hit points when you perform an act of true faith. Acts of true faith include: 1. Performing a daily ritual such as praying over a meal or the sunrise. 2. Performing a ritual for a major life event such as a coming of age or a battle. 3. Receiving the blessing of an elder of your order.

CLASP: Spend any number of your hit points to heal another for the same amount.

CALLER: Spend your HP to work miracles. 2 HP for every creature emotionally affected; plus 1 HP to inspire (immune to fear for 1 hour), 2 HP to reveal (a truth observable by the senses but obscured), 3 HP to drive into hiding (this part of the cost is refunded if the targets are all enemies to your order).

VEIL: One of the true acts of faith (your choice) no longer refreshes your HP. Your miracles that drive creatures into hiding cost 1 less per target.

COPE: When you spend downtime speaking one on one with a friend about faith, consider what faith means to them. Mark 1 Growth.

RATIONALE: Another of the true acts of faith no longer refreshes your HP. Your miracles that inspire cost 1 more per target.

CHANGE: Once ever, you can spend 5 Growth to define 3 new true acts of faith. All the friends you spoke with have to agree or you have to try again. Any Growth you have left over, you gain as bonus HP.